do you really care?

my friends are amazing

2007-08-02T01:24:00.000-07:00

i love my friends.
they really cheer me up :)

im really glad i have people that i can depend on yanno?

in middle school i remember i used to wish for those kinda friends.

i love you guyssss :):)

hey you

2007-01-20T00:42:00.000-08:00

i noticed that i use facebook and aim to keep in touch with people..whatever happened to talking on the phone? ew i used to hate talking on the phone..i was always afraid of awkward silences...or like whhen u want to get off the phone but don't know how to tell the other person on the line so u just say umm...i have to go to the bathroom...or do laundry ..or my house is on fire BEE ARE BEEZ. ROFLAMZOXCOPTERXZXXXXXXXXX. umm yeah. maybe thats why i like facebook and aim better.
haha i remember in middle school i was always really nervous when i talked on the phone and one time i had to ask may for homework or something and i remember writing out EVERY SINGLE THING i was going to say..HAHAhahah and when may answered the phone, i read off of that piece of paper. hahahah
but yeah i feel kinda sad because chances are that i will never see some people again...and my memories of them will slowly fade away. so promise me this, if you know me and we liked each other enough to say hi in the halls, please kit with me because chances are i miss you!
so, jarvis aung even though i wrote on my sr portrait to you that "i will probably never see or talk to you again" I DIDNT REALLY MEAN IT!
hahhah but yes dayu, hendson, steven, alex n and all you other people better keep in touch!

i probably posted this before, but who cares

2006-09-11T01:35:00.000-07:00

heeey. do you guys remember when you were still a itsy bitsy kid? and the world seemed so nice and perfect? before you learned about death..jealousy..crime...?

the earliest thing i can remember is...hearing about a plane crash...mmm..and wondering what happened to all the people...oo when i was about...4...5.? i remember i saw something on the news about a girl killing herself and i asked my nanny if she did it because she wanted to know what god was like... i remember believing EVERY single thing i was told. ie: god...tooth fairy...santa claus

i used to be like MAN i HATE adam and eve, if it weren't for them we'd all still be in the garden of ....eve? even? um. i just had a brain fart. its 1:33am, whatever.

oo and when i was little, i could never imagine hating my mom, dad or brother...and couldn't understand how the people on jerry springer did.

mmm gonna sleep

KTHXBAI

wow, i love to whine

2006-09-07T23:41:00.000-07:00

so i ate dinner today with my friends and apparently one of my friends is friends with the guy i hated from middle school.

how awkward.

i hope someone really makes him cry. cause i think hes a punk that needs to get beat up or something. or run over.

aNYWAYS.

summer's been fun. im gonna really miss alex.

i like alex. he makes me feel special.
and i can tell he loves me
by the way he treats me.
and that makes me happy
and when im happy hes happy
and when im sad hes sad.
he actually cares when i tell him my heart hurts.
and calls back when i hang up
mm he really cares
i should appreciate him more.

too bad its too late and im going off to college

OH WELL.

KTHXBAI

wow...wooow.

2006-07-10T22:08:00.000-07:00

what do i do now?

sigh

kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep

2006-06-22T23:26:00.000-07:00

im not a big fan of music
like its not MY LIFE or anything
but

wow

afi is amazing

AMAZING.

davey's voice
wow

WOW
thats amazing too.

has anyone noticed that after a while
all the bands, rappers, pop singers start
to sound all the same?
or at least the bad ones

liek the donnas?
i cant tell their songs apart
they all sound the same
how gross.

after a while afi's songs sound the same too
but at least they're pretty songs.

hey.
do you think heartache actually exists
or do you think its created in the mind...

hmm.

sigh

2006-06-19T22:39:00.000-07:00

fat people= boobs
skinny people= small boobs
special people= skinny and big boobs

woe is me
im going to start running again
bbye boobies.. bye byeeee!

i don't want to go to college yet
i want to pause everything and live it in slow mo.
before you know it we're going to be old...LIKE granny old.
omg. i think id freak out if i was that old.
ahhhhhhh. where did the time go. .

i wonder
what happens
when you die
..

heaven?
nothing?
mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

mm

2006-06-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

did you guys ever notice how unprofessional everything is?

i mean me working at kumon..sure i try to be professional (not really) but i do have my favorites..and i pay more attention to them than the kids that are ...eh. and i mean these kid's parents are paying ME money to tutor their kids...and they're not all getting the same education....sometimes i dont do the jobs im supposed to do because its too chaotic and i forget...---when I went to kumon..i thought everything was professional, thought that everyone was treated the same way...i probably just didn't notice..

and at bay to breakers u know how u buy snacks from venders? well by the end of the day u can just get them for free...i dont think thats very professional..but i like it.

and poll working day...before i worked there I thought our polls were VERY professional..like every vote actually counted and all that crap...but it turns out that people make mistakes and their votes end up not counting...etc

um
i dont know if i got my msg through or if it made any sense...yeah
i just used to think everything was really orderly and shtuff. but with the right friends, u could get a free hamburger hook up or if u're a really cute little kid, get a better education...

i want a sleeping buddy.

2006-06-06T23:19:00.000-07:00

someone please help me.

some of this stuff is from old posts..so u can press the X in the upper right hand corner and poo on a bird

so im sleeping and i know im awake. kinda like im
half away...but i have no control over my body.
its paralyzed and its getting really freaky because
i TOTALLY hear things. i know i do. first i heard children
laughing..and then teh second time i heard a cellphone...
but a ring that doesnt sound like anybody's i know...
can someone please explain this to me?

at first, i thought that maybe it was cus i was in rem sleep
and ur body is paralyzed during rem sleep...but..just last night
i couldnt sleep the whole entire niight cus my back was hurting
like a bitch. so i decided to sleep sitting up..and right when
i was about to fall asleep i noticed that my movement was restricted...
and i started to panic..and thats when i started to hear the
cellphone tones...but yea....maybe ur body is paralyzed when you sleep??
but that wouldnt make sense because people toss and turn in their sleep...
when i got paralyzed or whatever last night i started freaking out cus i
remember that my friend said it had osmething to do with the devil posessing you
and although im not religious...i dont really know any other explanation
so
give me explanations people.
otherwise ill have to sleep with my mom til
i forget this whole thing...
and my dad snores really loud
so please help me.

thanks dayu :)

2006-06-05T20:49:00.000-07:00

plaques

yayay.

yay.

2006-06-03T23:00:00.000-07:00

well, that was stupid.

my apologies

what would youuu do

2006-05-22T22:08:00.000-07:00

so i was day dreaming while i was reading jane austen's north angerabby or however u spell that crap, but it was amazingly boring. and i started to think about this one article i read in the lowell about some guy getting jumped in the morning. what if i was there in my (nonexistent) car? would it be okay if i ran over the mugger? and then mugged HIM for mugging the lowell guy? or if a guy threatens me on the street, takes my wallet and runs up eucalyptus..should i run to my (still nonexistent)car...go back to eucalyptus, look for him and run him over?

maybe its a stupid question..but is it wrong to hurt someone for mugging you?
..cus it could be seen as self-defense right?
mm but then again that mugger could have a whole bunch of gangster friends and make it his life's purpose to kill you.
but he wouldnt be able to do that if you ran him over and paralyzed him for life
UNLESS he made his friends kill you.

i dont even kno wwhy im writing all this crap
i just dont want to read jane austen

NO MORE! please oh god no. nooooooooooooooooooooo.

happy 2 years....

2006-05-19T20:40:00.000-07:00

um so,
i love seat belts.
hate crazy bitches that run red lights
love the witnesses who saw her run the red light
hate the fucking bitch for yelling at me
love the fact that the police told me she was at fault
hate the fact that she faked an injury and went to the hospital
love alex and steven
hate that crazy bitch
love life

asking a favor

2006-05-08T19:53:00.000-07:00

to all you fat girls out there
can you wear skirts that are
um a bit longer than mini?
maybe up to the knees?

you people probably think that
i could just not look but
it's not like i'm purposely
looking or anything, it's just that
they're THAT fat. i don't wanna
see any more fatass drumsticks
walking around lowell it's grosss.
ugh.

so please do society a favor and
wear longer skirts ...or stop eating
and purge every once in a while.
i'm kinda sorta being sarcastic btw.

and i think people that complain that they're fat
should just start exercising. stop complaining and
start working out.

actually

2006-05-04T23:43:00.000-07:00

actually i used to be a lot nicer in middle school.

like i'd want everyone to be happy, and if anybody cried i would actually
feel bad for them. ..even if it was over something stupid like grades

but now, i'd probably tell steven so and so cried over her first B..and we'd probably laugh.

yeah now that i met steven
im a cold and bitter person
THANKS!

oh and i guess i can be really nice
if i like you.
so yayy.

=o BITCH!

2006-05-04T23:35:00.000-07:00

you know what?
it's definitely better being the BITCh than being the one who IS bitched at.

and you know what else?
i really don't care if people like me or not because chances are, i don't like them either.

so all you loud and obnoxious people can eat poo.

oh dear
when is my period coming?

yeah. must be the hormones
sorry im only human.

family

2006-04-30T23:41:00.000-07:00

my brother used to be my best friend.
we used to sleep in the same bed as each other.
me my mommy and my brother til like ...8th grade
my mom would be in the middle of course.
i dont think anythings wrong with that so go hump a tree anyways.
my daddy would sleep in another room though; he had snow white blankets. heehhehHAHAHAh. but yeah. one night i remember asking joshua "who's your best friend?" and he said say "you!" that made me really happy.
we used to slide down the front window of the car i drive now, the camry...and one time we broke the glass. kekeke.
we used to brush our teeth together and put our arms over our shoulders and sing "father and son lalalallalaa"
we built huts out of our sofa
we played barbie together
played pokemon together

and one day i was watching lizzie mc guire and saw how mch she hated her little brother, and i swore to myself that id never be like that with my brother.

i guess we're OKAY now..sometimes. but we're definitely not best friends.

yeah
i just wanted to procrastinate. okay
goodnight.

procrastinating is my ai hao

2006-04-27T22:49:00.000-07:00

soooooooo i was sitting staring at my computeeerr not reading dracula..and then i started thinking. =O YES i do think, occasionally. anyways. i was wondering about how the fuck people made this computer...and realized how smart some people are...like franklin and how he discovered electricity...if i got flew a kite and got shocked by lightning id just come to the conclusion that i should never fly a kite during a thunder storm..i wouldnt actually be like "aha! Electricity! the electrons in the.....and the blah blah blaaaah" but wooow. and i wonder how our tv is made..who the hell came up with the tv? how do you make a tv? if u gave me all the materials in teh world, i still wouldnt be able to make one..

thank god people arent the same. if everyone was like me, we'd still be living in caves and wiping our butts with leaves.. oh wait, luisa still does that! kakakaka.
jkaaaay. kinda sorta not really.

PROJECT E!

note to self

2006-04-18T21:55:00.000-07:00

this is just the beginning...it's never perfect in the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginning

ok. i feel a lot better now.

suicidal ppl

2006-04-14T21:24:00.000-07:00

hey. you know it must really hurt to die...
i mean i was cooking chicken broth and rice the other day and my hand was over the stove and my hand started to get uncomfortably warm..but i continued cooking anyways..until i kinda burned my hand.and WOW it hurt like a mofo. i wonder what it feels like to ACTUALLY burn your hand like..have it catch on fire. if it already hurt that mch and my hand wasnt even tOUCHING teh fire, the pain must be like unbearable or something.

and i wonder if ppl actually feel the pain when they get shot in the heart..im sure they do..but do they feel it for THAt long? maaaybe it hurts so much, that it feels like an eternity to them. hmmmm!

o and u know what i really admire?
how some ppl's lives are so fucked up, and yet they manage to keep it all in at school. cause when you pass ppl in the halls, you don't realize that one kid's dad is in the hospital or another kid's family is fcuked up..they just pass you like nothing has happened.

unlike some kids
who cry because
they got their first
B or C.. some kids
who just can't hold
it in because their
college will probably
never accept them
just because they got
a unweighted 3.83- one A
short of a 4.0.

i guess i'd sympathize for the kids who are near failing and are trying their hardest..but fail anyways. ..mm actually i think thats impossible. you can't fail if you put ur mind to it and try.

stupid people can be normal if they just apply themselves.

but anywaaaaaaays. im blabbering. lalalalala.

gotta decide by may 1st.

2006-04-14T21:18:00.000-07:00

hmm. this isn't mch of a blog anymore. okay so..many of u probably think its stupid to stress over this but wahtever. maybe this will help me decide.

[ucd]
+food is hekka good\i could eat salad everyday and make chicken broth+rice
+i can imagine myself running/working out there
+close enough to home to visit a.chan
+i like how u bike
-don't get me wrong, its still a good school just not AS renowned.
-from the small two ppl rooms, it looked cramped
[ucsd]
+from the res and apartments i saw, i think it looks really nice
+near beach, i can run with rowena..pick up shells :D
-too far from home..id come back to sf once a month? i prolly wouldnt even be able to go to his senior prom or boat.
-food not so good, but + cause i def wont gain weight

um ill add more later.

bottling up

2006-03-28T22:20:00.000-08:00

i shouldnt say much.

i guess i can wait til summer

i hope that's not tooooo late.

i have so much free time ..that i think A LOT now
..homework used to preoccupy me..but senioritis kicked in
and i really have a lot of time to myself..to reflect..on a lot
of things. its not a very good thing. pretty damn depressing too.
hopefully ill forget all that crap in college.
yeah?
ja.

i hate you
but love you
more than anything

i need to run

hmm

2006-03-20T19:48:00.000-08:00

this year's different.
by the end of this year, we're actually GRADUATING. =o
it's not the same as freshman, sophmore or junior year...we're actually leaving lowell.
yayyyy. im actually not THAT happy, but i'm okay i guess. i think id be more happy
if that special sOMEONE, who's older but in a lower grade than me, was graduating in the same year with me. lowell wasn't THAt bad..for me at least. i didnt have homework freshman year, i didnt have homework sophmore year, and i guess i tried in jr year, but never had to pull an all nighter..o; amazing. the only time i ever pulled an all nighter wasn't even because of homework, it was because i was too excited to sleep; i was going to boomers the next day! how fun. but anyways.
i kinda regret going to lowell though...it's really sheltered all of us. everyone (or almost everyone) is super duper nice, whether they're genuinely nice..or not..they're still nice!.. i remember in freshman year, everybody was trying to make friends with each other...i wasn't really used to that so i was kinda weirded out. im totally used to that i guess...so yeah. but eh. im worrying too much.

if i go to sd, i guess ill come home every once a month........
but man........
he means so much to me
more than anything/anyone

at least ill be close to tijuana.
maybe i can help pedro hop the fence
"go pedro go!"

dayu fish update

2006-03-18T22:09:00.000-08:00

wow..
so um dayu got me 2 fishes for my birthday...the day after christmas..the fighting fish..
and they were supposed fight each other to the death...butttt
one was way bigger than the other so the small one couldnt put up a fight
and i kinda felt sorry for it..so yeah. but a few days later, i changed the water..and i guess they needed pure water or osmeting and so the big fish suffocated or somethang and died..but the small fish survived..i havent changed the water since
and it's still alive..i put a couple pieces of food in it but i never saw it ate...so i just stopped feeding it...and its STILL alive..
i havent fed it in weeks..

weird.

so yeah. its march 18th, and dayus fish is still alive
i feel bad for it..but not bad enough to change its water. :)

oh and i have turtles.that alex gave me
im not doing a very good job of taking care of them either
but i cant wait til we start feeding it blood wormsssss.
yayay.

fighting evil by moonlight..winning love by daylight...lalalalaaALLALALALALA

2006-03-17T23:09:00.000-08:00

i love sailor moon.

i love it.
i loooove it.

shutup, i know more than half of you guys reading this ..have watched it and looooved it.
it's so corny though..but maybe thats why i like it. its kinda funny how. ...i tear up at certain parts....mm maybe i just get too into it.

but i do think its really sad when the pink hair cute little girl, rini cries cause she wants her mommy and shes all lonely and stuff. AWWW. oh yeah and i definitely cried when ash gave away butterfry..butterfree? oh and i think ia lso cried when it was metapod and evolved into butterfree..
it was so beautiful. :']

i guess sailor moon reminds me of the old days..when i was young. it gives my heart a nice warm feeling and i feel really happy when i watch it.. but now that im older and i watch it..i notice a lot more things..like how the girls are REALLY REALLY slutty, and how short the sailor scouts' skirts are..but u never see anything no matter how high it goes..and i kinda wanna just tilt ur head to see if they actually wear underwear..or something. but.yeah. um. nevermind. not really. just kidding. :)

and now thanks to christine and youtube. i can watch sailor moon videos...IM me if u want the link. ill keep it confidential. :) hehe.

ramble ramble

2006-03-12T21:38:00.000-08:00

wow
i never thought id say this
but as of right now,
i hate my brother with a PASSION.

hes not just stupid..he's very VERY stupid.
it's amazing. he has no shame. i'm SERIOUS. he comes home with a what..1.9 GPA?
my parents go bananas on him. he cries for a while..starts to do his homework..but the next few weeks, he forgets. and starts to be retarded again. and its not like hes getting bad grades because he doesnt know how to do the work, he just doesnt DO his homework. i mean he goes to wallenburg..how mch work can there be?! he was supposed to show my parents his progress report card last week but he hasnt given it to the teachers yet because its just that bad.

i DO try to help, but he just gives me attitude.
it amazes me he really HAS no shame
sometimes i really really want to klasdjfalkjwekltlk.
and hes not the innocent little joshua i knew back then
hes not the nice boy that actually tried
hes the stupid ugly fat lazy retarded brothers u see on tv
that you just want to kill
or send to africa and trade for a new kid.

give me some advice
cause my parents have given up on him too.

he just doesnt listen anymore.

and its not like he has friends either so its like wtf.
hes always home..doing nothing. all alone. never really
hangs out with his friends either. so wth. i ask him
if he wants to go to the movies with me and my friends
but he says no, so ive stopped asking.

part of me thinks hes mentally ill..maybe he really is..
thatd make a lot of sense..sometimes he laughs out of no where
and its not like its a natural laugh. its one thats forced and unnatural..
i see him doing that and looking in the mirror sometimes..
i wonder if i messed him up when he was little and now hes traumatized or something.

um
i wrote this in the spur of the moment so i might sound a bit psychotic.
but who cares. cause i dont. and thats all that matters.

weird.

2006-03-12T15:14:00.000-08:00

i went to my grand uncle's funeral yesterday..
it was just weird seeing him in the coffin..
they stuffed a coin in his mouth..which seemed kinda degrading to me, but i dont know...
what was REALLY weird was how his children didnt even cry...i guess they werent close, but even my aunts cried..even I cried. maybe something happened when they were little and thats why they couldn't cry..but i think its just really weird..because either way hes still your FATHER..
but yeah, ... they took pictures..of him..in..the coffin..flash and everything..wth? are they gonna look back one day and be like heey! i remember that day.

yesterday reminded me of my grandmas funeral..how..[i swear to godd] it looked like she was still breathing..and i still cant believe shes gone cause my memories of her are still so vivid.

"not here, but somewhere else" mm thats probably it.

senioritis really hit..
i got rejected from la [no big surprise] but now im even worried about whether ill get into davis.

back to
my stupiod esasy

off on a tangent

2006-03-01T21:13:00.000-08:00

ever have one of those summers when you just dont do aNYTHING at all?
and right after the last day of school, you're like hell yeah ! YEAH i can watch tv, play video games and eat whatever i want!

whoa! amber said we can check ucirvine status online!!!..let's see if i got into uc irvine. im kinda sorta nervous. my heart's beating kinda sorta really fast... my stomachs turning inside out ish.. it feels weird.. brb
..
lol.
oh.
um.
i didn't even apply to irvine. hahahah
i just looked at my receipt..i got worked up for nothing.

okay ANYWAYS..
[6th grade flashbacckckkkkk]
i used to get excited for the summer.. the thought of doing absolutely nothing was really appealing to me..but after doing the same thing everyday....watching price is right...playing neopets..watching maury...eating pho..playing neopets...watching jenny jones..it got pretty boring...even if i played barbie with joshua.
---
[2nd grade]
i moved to san francisco in the 2nd grade..a completely different school...a PUBLIC school. argonne was totally different from chinese christian bible school. CCBS was a cool jesus school. everybody was nice and PLAYED TREEHOUSE WITH ME. but argonne...argonnnneeee... thats when i realized that i was fat and not everyone was nice. one day i went into the play structure and saw two girls alone..i asked them "can i play tea party with you guys?" they both said "no". (but back at christian bible school, EVERYOne would play with each other..) i didnt know what to do ...so i asked them what grade they were in. they said kindergarten..i told them i was in the 2nd grade and i could beat them up. so i pulled on their hair until they cried. hahah.
[middle school]
yeah i didnt have that many friends in middle school either, you are not alone dayu! i was pretty fatty fat fat back then. but back then i didtn care about how i looked..i really..didn't care. id wear a big white tshirt (that i probably stole from my dads closet) over a cheap hand me down sweater..i always wore black sweat pants or black spandex like pants. i didnt start wearing jeans til ..8th grade.

i had friends..but not the kind that ud hang out with after school or have sleepovers with...i just followed a buncha kids from my elementary school so i wouldnt look like a loner. very pretty kids. but yeah mm i think the first friend that was THAT close to me was maggie (7th grade)..good times.. we made videos...stalked people we didnt like..maggie was the first mean funny person i ever knew and i loooved it. i guess im a nice girl but i swear maggie brought out the crazy in me. hahah. the gibroni club..and chipmunk club? something like that. that was pretty fun. vivian was also one of my first close friends. i probably shouldve treated her better though.. maggie didnt like her taht much for some reason.. so i guess i didnt give her as mch respect as she deserved. so sorry vivian.

mm but now summer is fun and i miss it.

wow thats a lot of shit writing.
i should go more into my fatty fat next post.
but yeah if you cant say something nice, then dont say anything at all
i may laugh things off. but i do sekkritly hate many of you jerks on the inside.
and if hate you THAT much, dont worry ill just straight up tell you.
phil yee is OKAY now i guess.
but i do hate chris do.

yeah its definitely the monthly.

just for you dayu! hahah. ur definitely on my cool kids list

meaningless to you, meaningful to me

2006-02-21T22:59:00.000-08:00

this is just the beginning
:)
yeaaah.

remember kids,
you're a lot stronger than you think you are.

i have nothign to write about anymore

2006-02-18T22:22:00.000-08:00

SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: how could she find out its u
AtomicTea: well
AtomicTea: if she goes to gmail and ask for their records
AtomicTea: they'll give her my IP address
AtomicTea: and you can look up what ip address is what internet companyu
AtomicTea: and if she oges to sbc yahoo
AtomicTea: she can find out who's subscribing to that IP
AtomicTea: and she'll find my momma
AtomicTea: and.. yea.
AtomicTea: but i'm always REALLY paranoid so i don't think so
AtomicTea: but she COULD...
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: ...
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: LOLLLLL

oh gosh. silly steven.

i dont have mch to write about anymore......ladeedadadah.

oh.

2006-02-09T23:41:00.000-08:00

oh nothing to worry about guys, just the monthly.

yes. the MONTHLY, steven.
aaaaaahahaaaaahah.

wow poe is an amazing author. i still dont TOTALLY understand wtF hes talking about
but i like how he can make me feel creeped out in a couple of sentences.

valentines day is coming up..and this year we're actually doing something..:o..i think

running does make me happy.
and so doees godiva chocolate.

i wanna swimmm ok...

tissues for issues

2006-02-08T20:35:00.000-08:00

remember guys, pain is only temporary.

unless its emotional. . that'll last a wee bit longer.
weeeeeeeee. weee. weee. wee. wee.

god i feel so depressed.

and i dropped my favorite rubber band in the toilet. so i had to flush it down.. kekeke. oh wait im supposed to be depressed. cause this is a EMO entry. aaaaaaaaahaaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaa. just kidding. i have no idea but yeah, losing my rubber band to a toilet is definitely emo. i have no idea wtF im writing but its taking my mind off of things.

i think i need to run tonight. i like running because theres a certain point where you hope that a car will run you over or that you'll trip and crack your head open on the cement...and you're just sooo concentrated on thinking of ways to not have to EVER run again that you dont think about ANYTHING else..the other great thing about running is that when you feel pain, it's not emotional..it's PHYSICAL. and when your body aches and hurts, all you think about is your body, nothing else. it cant get to me while im running. and that's why i like to run. i sound quite psychotic but that's quite alright since no one bothers to read this.
oh and i might sound _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ because its almoooost that time again.
that's probably why.

okay
im going back
into my home

i love disney.

2006-02-07T22:23:00.000-08:00

If there's a prize for rotten judgement
I guess I've already won that
No man is worth the aggravation
That's ancient history, been there, done that

Who'd'ya think you're kiddin'
He's the Earth and heaven to you
Try to keep it hidden
Honey, we can see right through you
Girl, ya can't conceal it
We know how ya feel and
Who you're thinking of

No chance, no way
I won't say it, no, no

You swoon, you sigh
why deny it, uh-oh

It's too cliche
I won't say I'm in love

I thought my heart had learned its lesson
It feels so good when you start out
My head is screaming get a grip, girl
Unless you're dying to cry your heart out
Oh

You keep on denying
Who you are and how you're feeling
Baby, we're not buying
Hon, we saw ya hit the ceiling
Face it like a grown-up
When ya gonna own up
That ya got, got, got it bad

No chance, now way
I won't say it, no, no

Give up, give in
Check the grin you're in love

This scene won't play,
I won't say I'm in love

You're doin flips read our lips
You're in love

You're way off base
I won't say it
Get off my case
I won't say it

Girl, don't be proud
It's O.K. you're in love

Oh
At least out loud,
I won't say I'm in love

¿faake?

2006-02-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

so everybody hates a fake right? but if you think about it...almost everybody is fake in some way or another. i mean, if you weren't fake, then you'd be a rude bitch. like if a person you hated said hi to you, and you just totally ignored them, flicked them off or whatever, then that'd be rude. itd be mch more nicer just to say hi. so i guess there's a line btwn being nice. and ew fake. but yeah
sometimes i cant tell whether people actually like me or not and that kinda makes me feel :\. but then i think about it and it doesnt really matter to me because i know at least two people that are TRUE friends and thats pretty comforting to know.

you know im starting to feel empty again.
its this weird hollow feeling i had in freshman year..
hmm. god id promise myself id never feel this way again.

its okay though.. probably auntie flos jst coming for a visit.

war

2006-01-31T21:27:00.000-08:00

i used to think that war was for uncivilized people. ... when i was little i learned about how the south and north fought...for many different reasons..some for slavery...some to secede..blahblah.. i saw how indians and white guys fought back in the colonial days (thank you pocahontas)...mm i heard bout wwi and wwii and i actually thought that all wars were over...that the last war was wwii. i guess i didnt pay close attention to the news. i remember that crisis in kosovo thing..i guess thats when it KINDa sorta not really hit me yeah. eh.
are we even in a war? did congress even declare war.....
the "war in iraq"...
what are they fighting for again? do THEY even know? or maybe they THINK they know...only cause it's been DRILLEd into their heads.

i support our troops..but i dont support this war. i want our troops to come home safe and hopefully be sane. post shock syndrome..is that whats it called or shell shock..i forgot. but yeah. :\

its kinda weird though..cause u have no idea what some of them are doing..like some guys really do risk their lives..but others harass the prisoners.. im not sure.. but i mean if uve been to war for what seems like forever, were THAT bored, had nothing to do and u were fighting against these guys who killed your friend... maybe u would take naked degrading pictures of them and more. im not saying everyone in the army is like this..bcause some are really noble and respectable..but everyones different.
when peoples lives are in danger they usually get desperate...or if there life is on the line 24/7, im pretty sure some of them get pretty fucked up. and their reasoning changes. like in the book night, which is about the holocaust, this one son beat his father to death for a piece of bread. ..he was THAT hungry. that really surprised me. or like in mini arena where u dont care about anybody else (or most of the lowell kids) you just want your classes. "a bruise lasts 5 days but these classes are 5 months"..someone said that somehwere i forgot who. but yeah.

did u guys know about Guantanamo bay..its like..a prison for al qaeda terrorists/suspects...but i watched this documentary in fishers class, i actually paid attention!, and they said that some of those ppl in that prison arent even terrorists OR suspects...most of them havent even committed crimes or have any evidence...and a lot of them havent had a trial. . ... like this one guy was just arrested one day and was sent straight to guantanamo bay..his family/parents had no idea where he went either..til 2 months later when the police called and told them. in a letter he wrote to his dad, he wrote "i havent seen natural sunlight in a year..except for 2 minutes" that's crazy. and really scary since they had no evidence linking him to al qaeda or whatever. but yeah. i just thought our society was way beyond that. theres always the future to look forward too though.

the funny thing is. we talk about how sorry we feel for all these people and yet we dont do anything about it...what CAN we do?

im not gonna reread this so srry if a lot of this is confusing. wasted ur time nikkuhs.

freakeh

2006-01-24T16:37:00.000-08:00

So I took a 30 minute nap this afternoon and when I was about to wake up..I couldn't.. I couldn't talk or move..as hard as I tried..i just couldn't! I know half of my eye was open because I could see part of the plant in my living room..the freaky thing was that i swear i heard children laughing and saying "come play with us..listen to us listen to us." and they just kept chanting that, of course i was uber freaked out because i had no idea wtf was happening. i couldnt move/talk AND i was hearing voices? i even tried screaming help but all that came out were murmurs. i remember maggie and stina told me that this happend to them before and they told me it had something to do with the devil posessing you, testing you to see if you're true to god or whatever..and you're supposed to say.."in the name of christ..leave this body"? actually it was a long time ago so i dont remember what you're supposed to do. mm the weird thing is that im not religious anymore sooo that can't be the case..can it? another funky thing is that from what i remember in ap psych...it takes like..what.. a couple of hours before you fall into REM sleep..and that's when you dream..but I only took a 30 minute nap. so i couldnt have possibly been in REM...which means i didn't dream. . so wHAS DHA DEEEAL GURLFRWENd?!

mm so far what i know/think is that there are two worlds. the REAL world which actually exists and the world in your mind. ummm like in dreams thats not the real world..but sometimes (at least to me) my dreams feel so real and when i wake up..i have to think really hard whether it actually happened or not. your mind controls your senses..so if it's fucked up, can't some special neurotransmitter be triggered to make you see some craaaazy things? like how riddilin made cartman see christina auguleria mole rats or wahteverr. but what if your mind was fucked up ALL the time and you saw things all the time..like instead of the floor, you saw a sea of rats and every person looked like a talking dog ..mm i wonder if anyone's like that ..would there be a way to cure that kinda illness ..hmmmmmmmm ill research that stuff lata after finals..

i hope i never go that crazy..

Abortion

2006-01-21T23:35:00.001-08:00

Yeah. So I was hanging in Chrissy Fields today and I saw some um...pro-life people protesting..families were wearing pro-life tshirts...it was pretty funny cause there were these 2 really annoying little kids complaining to their mom..and their mom got fed up and started yelling them out. i dont know i just thought it was funny that she was scolding her kid at a pro-life protest. but yeah.

i'm actually pro-choice. i don't plan to ever have to have one but i think there is absolutely nothing wrong with having an abortion.
1. it's my body and the govt can't tell me what i cant do with it
2. why would you want to bring another kid into this cruel world anyways.? we're all going to die anyways so what's the difference. if i had a choice to have never been born..it wouldnt really matter to me because if i wasn't born then itd be the same as being dead. and since we're all going to be dead..what does it matta? [sorry if it's confusing..read it a few times and if u dont get it then get laid and ask me]

okay yeah, the gov't can tell us to NOT murder, that's okay, but they can't tell us what to believe in. yeah i think killing another person is wrong but there is a line between murder and an abortion. people, or many of them at least, have developed thoughts..they know they're alive..and what the world has to offer. killing such a person would be WRONG. however..an embryo has POTENTIAL to know it's alive and what the world has to offer. POTENTIAL. that doesn't mean it DOES..but it can. but then again..if an embryo has potential..then doesn't a woman's reproductive egg also have potential? with technology and all. that egg also has potential to become a life form..so would it be murder if she didn't fertilize that possible life form?

i guess this all comes down to whether or not that embryo is a person and whether it should be counted as one. if it's a 7 month fetus..then aborting it would be morally wrong...but i think it should still be allowed. why would you bring a kid into the world if you didn't even want it? sure u could leave it at an orphanage but why would u go through all the trouble? ud have to go to work with this big buddha belly, have cravings, get fat, finally go to the hospital...then through labor..pop out a kid..go drop em off at an orphanage and never see em again. u've wasted how many months being pregnant? ..it's just way too much trouble to go through for a kid that isn't even yours and is NOT guaranteed to be loved.

id write more pointless stuff but i have to wake up at 9 damn.
damniddy damndamn.

i have a misquitoe bite on my big toe

2006-01-16T22:44:00.000-08:00

SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: omg u know what
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I was in a disney feel yesterday
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: and so i was like yay
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: ill look up pictures of belle
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so i typed up "belle disney"
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: AND THEY HAD NEKKI PICTURES OF HER
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: and i was like WTF
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I WAS HELLA IN THE MOOD TO SEE SOME G RATED SHIT
AtomicTea: LOLLLLLLLLLLL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: i was soooo mad

ugh so gross. i wonder if anybody actually likes disney porn.

but yeah. disney songs are amazing. i wonder if the movies have any symbolism in them. ..beside that sexual innuendo shit.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2023320890224991194
interesting stuff.. did the govt plan 911? :o freaky. actually i only watched the first three minutes because i got too freaked out. i needa watch it with someone. ...im sucha scardyee cat.

AtomicTea:
AtomicTea: LOL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: it was so bad
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: OMG
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I HATE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: YOU
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I ALMOST SCREAMED
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: ON
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: THE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: INSIDE
AtomicTea: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: BUT MY MASK IS SO TIGHT ON MY FACE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I CANT MOVE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: AND NOW
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I HAVE TO WASH IT OFF
AtomicTea: AAHAAHHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHAA
AtomicTea: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh man
AtomicTea: LOLOOLLLLLLLLLLL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: you know
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: being scared reminded me of the exorcism
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so when i was washing my face
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: i kept opening my eyes
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: to makesure nothign was there
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: but it burned my eyes
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so i was like ow
AtomicTea: AHAHAHA
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: but the pt is that im safe.
AtomicTea: ooh man
AtomicTea: LOL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so thats good.

break my heart and ill break your fucking leg

2006-01-15T21:25:00.000-08:00

friends are good. they take a lotta stuff off your mind. :)

finals suck.

my ears are really happy when a girl or guy sings pretty. like davey. he sings really pretty and my ears get really happy. gah.

it's weird how time passes by so fast.. it doesn't seem THAT long ago that i still sleeped with my mommy at night..and played with her hair.. or when i still thought "all that" was funny. ..actually..it hasn't been for a long while. gah. everything's going by so fast and i just wanna hold on to somethings...... the love i DID feel when i was little..the funnies i had with my brother...playing "flood" with my cousins..i used to be their favorite cousin and they'd all loooove to play with me. but now ive just stopped caring and so have they. i gotta admit it was pretty fun being a kid. minus some negatives..but mostly fun stuff.

i loved playing barbie with my brother. i was always the barbie that got the guy and joshua was the barbie that was the bitchy one that didnt get em. hahah. oo i remember we used to play doggies. and i used to bite him. like actually bite him. and make barking noises. i dont think it hurt. oo and we used to play this head butting game too. ...but i always won. i always won at a lot of things against him..and he'd just be okay with it. like when we played pokemon i always made up stupid shit..so that somehow id win. "oh _____ can make u fall in love with her and then kill you...and that's why i win." and he'd still be okay with that and still wanna play with me. awww. joshua used to be sucha cute kid. and now he cooks me stuff and gets me water when i ask. i have a pretty cool brother.

you know what pisses me off? 6th graders/little girls with coach bags n slutty brand name shit. it makes me wanna just jump them and take their purses.

Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down

2006-01-12T22:29:00.000-08:00

:) I still like that song.

i wish super heroes were real..kinda like how i used to wish pokemon were real. oooooooo. but yeah. if i could have anyyyy um..super power itd be to fly. cause then i wouldnt be a peasant no more and i wouldnt have to take that stupid peasant bus that never comes on time even though i pay 50 cents now. >:O. orrrr id want to be invisible.. thats kinda freaky but i would be able to get away with so many thingssssssssssss. D; the possibilities. gah.

infomercials......wow...they're really convincing.....that egg bullet thing..the wok...that really skinny blender stick thing..and that ladder thing...i know i dont need them ..but i REALLY want them. over the summer i used to watch them til like 3 am...haha that stuff made life seem a lot easier...like id be happier if i got it or something. which of course isnt true.

man i should study for that chinese test.

okay now im going to post something positive.
the wonderful thing about life is that people is that they can change.

which is why we should give second chances right?
right. so then why would u still execute a man even though he changed.
so random.

mm i wonder where peta gets its animal abuse photos...do they google animal abuse orrr do they take pictures of it...? hmmmm we may never knowwwww. yeah im against torturing animals but i think eating them is fine. survival of the fittest, we wouldnt have been here w/out it..mm i think im just mad at myself for being a vegetarian because i woulda probably been a full C. hahah. i have no idea what im writing anymore. goodnight.

sorry im whining

2006-01-11T21:06:00.000-08:00

i promised myself i wouldnt whine here..but. promises are meant to be broken.
..they really are.

work makes me happy. it takes my mind off a lot of things.

i think im addicted to food. that makes me happy too.

some days..i just never want to get out of bed..sometimes i feel like..i could just lay in bed for a really long time and be totally fine...i could day dream how much easier life would be if i were korean...about how pretty my room could be if i actually cleaned it.....eh. i really just dont care to do much. i feel very sluggish. the weekdays are getting longer and the weekends are too short.

i want summer. beach. sun. warmmmth. fun. laughter. ......ahhh. i feel useless right now. and only godiva chocolate can save me.

the world is cruel

but actually. i really like work. the little kids i have are so darn cute!. ugh. too cute. i really like it when my favorite ones are at my desk :) "dance with me!" ahh they bright up my day. maybe that's why i love playing with little kids so much..cause they're so innocent. oh and i absolutely love kids who say thank you and you're welcome. . i lovoeeee it. o and i like gentlemen too. or really nice people. wow this stuff is totally random. but yeah. gah im just trying to procastinate. i dont want to study.

mm sometimes i wish id get hit by a car so id be out for a couple of months and then i wouldnt have to do anyyyyyyyyything.

oh and relationships ..ugh. sometimes they irk me. especially when one person gives more than the other. and the other person doesnt give crap in return. or doesn't even appreciate the things they do. but yeah. whatever. waheteverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Religion

2006-01-09T22:27:00.000-08:00

Mm..when i was still living in san lorenzo, i had a nanny who was super duper religious...she told me a lotta stories and i believed her. "when you die, god lets you choose to be an angel or a baby".. i remember hating adam and eve because it was their fault that we couldn't live in the garden of eden. one time at my church school they lectured us on how ppl who didnt believe in god went to hell..and i burst out in tears because i REALLY thought my parents were going to hell. after that i asked my mom and dad if they would become religious..so they wouldnt have to go to hell um..i dont think they answered me.

i used to pray to god every night ..and give him an invisible hug. and sometimes i thought that god could read my mind so i thought up of cuss words and then suddenly took them back.

i dont believe in god anymore but id like to. i think that whole jesus/god thing was created so ppl would be good. like how your parents tell you about santa clause..and if you're a good girl, he'll give you presents? christianity is kinda like that. if you're good, god will put you into heaven.

even though i don't believe in god..i still pray every once in a while..(if i have a big meet the next day..if i didnt study for my chinese test..for my boobs to get bigger...) juuuust in case. :) it's nice to have something to believe in though. when i have children im gonna make them christianssss so they wont be as afraid to die.

if any of you reading this are religious..please dont take this offensively. im not trying to diss god or jesus or wahtever.

..so when's the apocalypse?

2006-01-05T18:33:00.000-08:00

So I was lying in bed the other night..thinking about how I move my hands..wiggle my toes and breathe..(Yeah..I was super bored.) What keeps me alive? ...it's weird. I know that your head makes it move but ..a body is useless if nothing is controlling it right? I guess I'm talking about the soul. I think too much and no one understands.

for all you atheists..
sometimes i wonder what made the universe..and what made the "thing" that made the universe and what made the "thing" that made the "thing" that made the universe. pause and digest. mm i think the explanation is waaay beyond human comprehension.

a slut, nerd, fake, and retard all in one person...i didn't know it was possible, but meet _______ _____. [:

farewell my african princesses
im off to triangle land.

oh. it's that time of the month again so i basically have the right to be a bitch. hahahah. just kidding. kinda sorta not really.

Curiousity killed the cat

2006-01-03T21:06:00.000-08:00

I wonder if anyone that hates me reads this..and checks on it every.single.day.. to see what I have to say. I know I used to do that. . . .or still do. :)

You know what I noticed? For some people, music has become a FAD...not just something you listen to because you like it..but something that you hope will label you as a gangster..fob..punk..or whatever. not true for everybody..
and whatsup with all the sex in music videos..gahh..and little mini paris hiltons...they scare the crap outta me. little slut 11 year old girls in mini skirts..yuck. they need to get raped or something.

9:11! I swear I always see that time...funky.

ugly guys need to stop being horny because it's hurting the environment by causing global warming.

i dont know what i just wrote. i just want to procrastinate.

foggiegee: i couldnt believe it.. but when i was driving, i saw 9:11
foggiegee: and thought of you
foggiegee: brb

im not the only one!! randall sees 12:34

Oh me, oh my.

2006-01-01T19:35:00.000-08:00

I think it's about that time of the month again.

I got bored and was looking through some xangas..myspaces..and stuff..and at every other page there'd be someone with the screen name.."mZ_oRIGiNAL". It kinda ticked me off..for some reason. hahah. You know what?
No one is original, so stfu and stop pretending like you were the first to start a rock band, to come up with catch phrases, and to wear converses at a formal. It gets on my nerrrves.

I feel bitter today.

and you know what.?
there probably is no meaning to life.

Happy New Years.

2006-01-01T01:06:00.000-08:00

Forget the past, live in the present.

Soo...2006 eh?
___________
Resolutions|
-----------
-TEAM KENNETH! (i dont know if that's a resolution but hahah)

actually i dont have any.

Aww. Now I have to write 06 on my work and stuff. I hate it..I was just getting used to writing 05 instead of 04 ..and now this? Tartarsauce.

1/1/06

ew.

I never meant to make you feel that way.

2005-12-29T01:37:00.000-08:00

So tell me, who's the victim?
I don't know anymore.

Anyways.
Break's almost over..shit. It was starting to have that summer feely..where you have like absolutely nothing to do..but waste time.

I'm starting to dread the future....like when I grow up and I'll have to go to work practically every single day...there won't be winter vacation..spring break...or summer........It'll just be work and days off on Sunday and maybe Saturday....that's why I kinda wanna get my masters degree..so I can just leech off my parents as long as I can..hahah.. ....gosh.

I used to be so damn innocent. When I was little, I could never understand why someone would kill. I always thought, "Wouldn't they be afraid that their mommy would be sad?".. But now I understand.

Or why anybody would want to commit suicide....why would someone waste their life..especially if they were so blessed..with food, shelter, and love...and yanno some of us joke about those hungry kids in africa..but the sad thing is that..they really are starving. We should appreciate our lives..it's just kinda hard sometimes because obstacles get in the way.

I'm just rambling about nothing. I'm kinda sleepy, but I don't wanna sleep.

I remember a cat scratched me on my hand and left a scar, but overtime that scar disappeared.

Yay

2005-12-26T23:51:00.000-08:00

Thanks for all your messages and presents. :)

I appreciate it :D:D:D:D

I won't bore you about today so yayayay.

Happy Holidays

2005-12-25T14:19:00.000-08:00

Put on a smile so people will think you're happy.

I'm writing this because I'm extremely bored. I'm doing nothing for Christmas today..but I saw Alex earlier..for like 10 minutes. Yay. so yeah. Don't read it unless you want to be or are extremely bored.

lalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

I remember that when I was little, we used to have the best Christmas trees...and we actually decorated them..we got out this big cardboard box and put all the ornaments on the tree. Yellow...orange...red...shiny balls. :) I like shiny..I was too short to put them on the tree though, so my daddy would carry me. Ooh I remember that I reallly liked the christmas lights...they flashed on and off and played music! We even opened the curtains and showed the neighbors our pretty tree.

Hmmm... but what was under that christmas tree? :D
Presents! ..or present....one for me and one for Joshua. I used to tear them open like there was no tomorrow...[which reminds me...this is TOTALLY random..but for red envelopes..did you guys ever take ALL the money out..change them into ones..and then throw the money into the air and try to swim in it?]..okay anyways.
My nanny gave the best presents. Not cause it was on my wishlist..but because her presents were very thoughtful and.."out of the box". Hahah. This one year she bought me slippers...very smart. My bathroom was very smelly and icky, so I always ran over to her house to do my thang. BUT I WOULDN'T BE RUNNING BAREFOOT ANYMORE NOW WOULD I. D; helza smart. um. yeah. I miss my nanny. I'll talk about her later. This is an extremely long entry.

Um..well I hope you're having fun. Yay.

RIP Tookie

2005-12-24T20:19:00.000-08:00

I don't believe in killing others to prove that killing is wrong.
Wtf is that? Sure, the killer may have ruined the victim's family..but executing the killer will ruin his family too.
Is justice really served when you kill the killer? Can't you just sentence him to life...isn't that good enough? You can't just tell someone how much longer they have to live before you kill them. Well, you can..but that's...wrong.

What I really don't like is the process. It takes a long time to sentence someone to death. They executed Tookie...what..25 years after he commited the crime? 25 years is a longg time. He spent those 25 years in jail..cleaned himself up..wrote a few children books talking against gang violence...and then got the death sentence anyways? Tookie wasn't the same guy when he entered the prison.

I believe that people are born blank slates and as they mature their environment defines who they are. So when people go through hard times, they get desperate. It's not like they have a choice. They're just trying to survive..after all this world is about survival of the fittest right?

So should someone be killed for trying to survive in the world that our government created? The distribution of wealth has screwed us all over with the rich being TOO rich because the poor have become TOO poor.

People commit crimes and jail is a legitimate punishment..but I think the DEATH penalty is a cruel, unusual, and unecessary punishment.

I don't know if any of this made sense..but..yeah. Hmmm..this entry's how I feel about Tookies execution. YEaaah.
and if you see any grammatical errors, go get laid and THEN tell me them. aokay? yayay.
I'm just trying to procrastinate...I haven't started on homework yet.

Macy's

2005-12-23T23:07:00.000-08:00

I was hanging with Alex today downtown. We walked passed Macy's and saw little doggies in the window. SO DARN CUTE. Everyone was awwwwwwwwing and ohhhhhing..it was kinda funny though cause it seemed like animal abuse. I'm no animal humper, but those puppies looked pretty sad and scared of all the people tapping on the glass. One of the little kids looked at me when I told Alex the dogs looked like they wanted to die. HAHAHAh

Union Square is kinda pretty and really yummy when you eat a chocolate fudge sundae. :):)

I came home at 10:30..........my parents were hekka mad...wtf? My curfew is..4:30pm................gaah. How lame. >:E

No more LJ

2005-12-21T23:19:00.000-08:00

...mm this is interesting. Just like another xanga kinda.

Christmas again. Great. Greeeeeat. I hate it when someone gets you a present and you didn't plan for it and so you have to buy them one..or else your a jerk.

You know what I can't stand? Guys who disrespect their girlfriends.
Ugh.

People make mistakes.....well I guess I can't help myself either.................or maybe I'm just telling myself that to justify everything.
It's just hard to trust someone who broke your heart 3 times..only time will tell.

What do you guys think about "an eye for an eye"?

Bright Eyes- Lover I Don't Have to Love

2005-12-21T23:13:00.000-08:00

I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time
Now it's two o'clock,
the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
I'm pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time
You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try
Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
I do
I do
Then hurt me.

I am in love with this song.