ramble ramble

wow
i never thought id say this
but as of right now,
i hate my brother with a PASSION.

hes not just stupid..he's very VERY stupid.
it's amazing. he has no shame. i'm SERIOUS. he comes home with a what..1.9 GPA?
my parents go bananas on him. he cries for a while..starts to do his homework..but the next few weeks, he forgets. and starts to be retarded again. and its not like hes getting bad grades because he doesnt know how to do the work, he just doesnt DO his homework. i mean he goes to wallenburg..how mch work can there be?! he was supposed to show my parents his progress report card last week but he hasnt given it to the teachers yet because its just that bad.

i DO try to help, but he just gives me attitude.
it amazes me he really HAS no shame
sometimes i really really want to klasdjfalkjwekltlk.
and hes not the innocent little joshua i knew back then
hes not the nice boy that actually tried
hes the stupid ugly fat lazy retarded brothers u see on tv
that you just want to kill
or send to africa and trade for a new kid.

give me some advice
cause my parents have given up on him too.

he just doesnt listen anymore.

and its not like he has friends either so its like wtf.
hes always home..doing nothing. all alone. never really
hangs out with his friends either. so wth. i ask him
if he wants to go to the movies with me and my friends
but he says no, so ive stopped asking.

part of me thinks hes mentally ill..maybe he really is..
thatd make a lot of sense..sometimes he laughs out of no where
and its not like its a natural laugh. its one thats forced and unnatural..
i see him doing that and looking in the mirror sometimes..
i wonder if i messed him up when he was little and now hes traumatized or something.

um
i wrote this in the spur of the moment so i might sound a bit psychotic.
but who cares. cause i dont. and thats all that matters.