I never meant to make you feel that way.

So tell me, who's the victim?
I don't know anymore.

Anyways.
Break's almost over..shit. It was starting to have that summer feely..where you have like absolutely nothing to do..but waste time.

I'm starting to dread the future....like when I grow up and I'll have to go to work practically every single day...there won't be winter vacation..spring break...or summer........It'll just be work and days off on Sunday and maybe Saturday....that's why I kinda wanna get my masters degree..so I can just leech off my parents as long as I can..hahah.. ....gosh.

I used to be so damn innocent. When I was little, I could never understand why someone would kill. I always thought, "Wouldn't they be afraid that their mommy would be sad?".. But now I understand.

Or why anybody would want to commit suicide....why would someone waste their life..especially if they were so blessed..with food, shelter, and love...and yanno some of us joke about those hungry kids in africa..but the sad thing is that..they really are starving. We should appreciate our lives..it's just kinda hard sometimes because obstacles get in the way.

I'm just rambling about nothing. I'm kinda sleepy, but I don't wanna sleep.



I remember a cat scratched me on my hand and left a scar, but overtime that scar disappeared.

Yay

Thanks for all your messages and presents. :)

I appreciate it :D:D:D:D

I won't bore you about today so yayayay.

Happy Holidays

Put on a smile so people will think you're happy.

I'm writing this because I'm extremely bored. I'm doing nothing for Christmas today..but I saw Alex earlier..for like 10 minutes. Yay. so yeah. Don't read it unless you want to be or are extremely bored.

lalalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


I remember that when I was little, we used to have the best Christmas trees...and we actually decorated them..we got out this big cardboard box and put all the ornaments on the tree. Yellow...orange...red...shiny balls. :) I like shiny..I was too short to put them on the tree though, so my daddy would carry me. Ooh I remember that I reallly liked the christmas lights...they flashed on and off and played music! We even opened the curtains and showed the neighbors our pretty tree.

Hmmm... but what was under that christmas tree? :D
Presents! ..or present....one for me and one for Joshua. I used to tear them open like there was no tomorrow...[which reminds me...this is TOTALLY random..but for red envelopes..did you guys ever take ALL the money out..change them into ones..and then throw the money into the air and try to swim in it?]..okay anyways.
My nanny gave the best presents. Not cause it was on my wishlist..but because her presents were very thoughtful and.."out of the box". Hahah. This one year she bought me slippers...very smart. My bathroom was very smelly and icky, so I always ran over to her house to do my thang. BUT I WOULDN'T BE RUNNING BAREFOOT ANYMORE NOW WOULD I. D; helza smart. um. yeah. I miss my nanny. I'll talk about her later. This is an extremely long entry.

Um..well I hope you're having fun. Yay.

RIP Tookie

I don't believe in killing others to prove that killing is wrong.
Wtf is that? Sure, the killer may have ruined the victim's family..but executing the killer will ruin his family too.
Is justice really served when you kill the killer? Can't you just sentence him to life...isn't that good enough? You can't just tell someone how much longer they have to live before you kill them. Well, you can..but that's...wrong.

What I really don't like is the process. It takes a long time to sentence someone to death. They executed Tookie...what..25 years after he commited the crime? 25 years is a longg time. He spent those 25 years in jail..cleaned himself up..wrote a few children books talking against gang violence...and then got the death sentence anyways? Tookie wasn't the same guy when he entered the prison.

I believe that people are born blank slates and as they mature their environment defines who they are. So when people go through hard times, they get desperate. It's not like they have a choice. They're just trying to survive..after all this world is about survival of the fittest right?

So should someone be killed for trying to survive in the world that our government created? The distribution of wealth has screwed us all over with the rich being TOO rich because the poor have become TOO poor.

People commit crimes and jail is a legitimate punishment..but I think the DEATH penalty is a cruel, unusual, and unecessary punishment.



I don't know if any of this made sense..but..yeah. Hmmm..this entry's how I feel about Tookies execution. YEaaah.
and if you see any grammatical errors, go get laid and THEN tell me them. aokay? yayay.
I'm just trying to procrastinate...I haven't started on homework yet.

Macy's

I was hanging with Alex today downtown. We walked passed Macy's and saw little doggies in the window. SO DARN CUTE. Everyone was awwwwwwwwing and ohhhhhing..it was kinda funny though cause it seemed like animal abuse. I'm no animal humper, but those puppies looked pretty sad and scared of all the people tapping on the glass. One of the little kids looked at me when I told Alex the dogs looked like they wanted to die. HAHAHAh

Union Square is kinda pretty and really yummy when you eat a chocolate fudge sundae. :):)

I came home at 10:30..........my parents were hekka mad...wtf? My curfew is..4:30pm................gaah. How lame. >:E

No more LJ

...mm this is interesting. Just like another xanga kinda.

Christmas again. Great. Greeeeeat. I hate it when someone gets you a present and you didn't plan for it and so you have to buy them one..or else your a jerk.


You know what I can't stand? Guys who disrespect their girlfriends.
Ugh.

People make mistakes.....well I guess I can't help myself either.................or maybe I'm just telling myself that to justify everything.
It's just hard to trust someone who broke your heart 3 times..only time will tell.

What do you guys think about "an eye for an eye"?

Bright Eyes- Lover I Don't Have to Love

I picked you out
Of a crowd and talked to you
Said I liked your shoes
You said thanks can I follow you?
So it's up the stairs
And out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name you asked the time
Now it's two o'clock,
the club is closed we're up the block
Your hands on me
I'm pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth
Trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know
Who else may have been you before
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet me here but I'm not sure
I got the money if you got the time
You said it feels good I said I'll give it a try
Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning
Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers
They just play tragic
And the phone's ringing
And the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching
Let's just keep keep singing
I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals
I got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind
But you but you
You write such pretty words
But life's no story book
Love is an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt
Do you like to hurt?
I do
I do
Then hurt me.


I am in love with this song.