war

i used to think that war was for uncivilized people. ... when i was little i learned about how the south and north fought...for many different reasons..some for slavery...some to secede..blahblah.. i saw how indians and white guys fought back in the colonial days (thank you pocahontas)...mm i heard bout wwi and wwii and i actually thought that all wars were over...that the last war was wwii. i guess i didnt pay close attention to the news. i remember that crisis in kosovo thing..i guess thats when it KINDa sorta not really hit me yeah. eh.
are we even in a war? did congress even declare war.....
the "war in iraq"...
what are they fighting for again? do THEY even know? or maybe they THINK they know...only cause it's been DRILLEd into their heads.

i support our troops..but i dont support this war. i want our troops to come home safe and hopefully be sane. post shock syndrome..is that whats it called or shell shock..i forgot. but yeah. :\

its kinda weird though..cause u have no idea what some of them are doing..like some guys really do risk their lives..but others harass the prisoners.. im not sure.. but i mean if uve been to war for what seems like forever, were THAT bored, had nothing to do and u were fighting against these guys who killed your friend... maybe u would take naked degrading pictures of them and more. im not saying everyone in the army is like this..bcause some are really noble and respectable..but everyones different.
when peoples lives are in danger they usually get desperate...or if there life is on the line 24/7, im pretty sure some of them get pretty fucked up. and their reasoning changes. like in the book night, which is about the holocaust, this one son beat his father to death for a piece of bread. ..he was THAT hungry. that really surprised me. or like in mini arena where u dont care about anybody else (or most of the lowell kids) you just want your classes. "a bruise lasts 5 days but these classes are 5 months"..someone said that somehwere i forgot who. but yeah.

did u guys know about Guantanamo bay..its like..a prison for al qaeda terrorists/suspects...but i watched this documentary in fishers class, i actually paid attention!, and they said that some of those ppl in that prison arent even terrorists OR suspects...most of them havent even committed crimes or have any evidence...and a lot of them havent had a trial. . ... like this one guy was just arrested one day and was sent straight to guantanamo bay..his family/parents had no idea where he went either..til 2 months later when the police called and told them. in a letter he wrote to his dad, he wrote "i havent seen natural sunlight in a year..except for 2 minutes" that's crazy. and really scary since they had no evidence linking him to al qaeda or whatever. but yeah. i just thought our society was way beyond that. theres always the future to look forward too though.


the funny thing is. we talk about how sorry we feel for all these people and yet we dont do anything about it...what CAN we do?

im not gonna reread this so srry if a lot of this is confusing. wasted ur time nikkuhs.

freakeh

So I took a 30 minute nap this afternoon and when I was about to wake up..I couldn't.. I couldn't talk or move..as hard as I tried..i just couldn't! I know half of my eye was open because I could see part of the plant in my living room..the freaky thing was that i swear i heard children laughing and saying "come play with us..listen to us listen to us." and they just kept chanting that, of course i was uber freaked out because i had no idea wtf was happening. i couldnt move/talk AND i was hearing voices? i even tried screaming help but all that came out were murmurs. i remember maggie and stina told me that this happend to them before and they told me it had something to do with the devil posessing you, testing you to see if you're true to god or whatever..and you're supposed to say.."in the name of christ..leave this body"? actually it was a long time ago so i dont remember what you're supposed to do. mm the weird thing is that im not religious anymore sooo that can't be the case..can it? another funky thing is that from what i remember in ap psych...it takes like..what.. a couple of hours before you fall into REM sleep..and that's when you dream..but I only took a 30 minute nap. so i couldnt have possibly been in REM...which means i didn't dream. . so wHAS DHA DEEEAL GURLFRWENd?!

mm so far what i know/think is that there are two worlds. the REAL world which actually exists and the world in your mind. ummm like in dreams thats not the real world..but sometimes (at least to me) my dreams feel so real and when i wake up..i have to think really hard whether it actually happened or not. your mind controls your senses..so if it's fucked up, can't some special neurotransmitter be triggered to make you see some craaaazy things? like how riddilin made cartman see christina auguleria mole rats or wahteverr. but what if your mind was fucked up ALL the time and you saw things all the time..like instead of the floor, you saw a sea of rats and every person looked like a talking dog ..mm i wonder if anyone's like that ..would there be a way to cure that kinda illness ..hmmmmmmmm ill research that stuff lata after finals..

i hope i never go that crazy..

Abortion

Yeah. So I was hanging in Chrissy Fields today and I saw some um...pro-life people protesting..families were wearing pro-life tshirts...it was pretty funny cause there were these 2 really annoying little kids complaining to their mom..and their mom got fed up and started yelling them out. i dont know i just thought it was funny that she was scolding her kid at a pro-life protest. but yeah.

i'm actually pro-choice. i don't plan to ever have to have one but i think there is absolutely nothing wrong with having an abortion.
1. it's my body and the govt can't tell me what i cant do with it
2. why would you want to bring another kid into this cruel world anyways.? we're all going to die anyways so what's the difference. if i had a choice to have never been born..it wouldnt really matter to me because if i wasn't born then itd be the same as being dead. and since we're all going to be dead..what does it matta? [sorry if it's confusing..read it a few times and if u dont get it then get laid and ask me]

okay yeah, the gov't can tell us to NOT murder, that's okay, but they can't tell us what to believe in. yeah i think killing another person is wrong but there is a line between murder and an abortion. people, or many of them at least, have developed thoughts..they know they're alive..and what the world has to offer. killing such a person would be WRONG. however..an embryo has POTENTIAL to know it's alive and what the world has to offer. POTENTIAL. that doesn't mean it DOES..but it can. but then again..if an embryo has potential..then doesn't a woman's reproductive egg also have potential? with technology and all. that egg also has potential to become a life form..so would it be murder if she didn't fertilize that possible life form?

i guess this all comes down to whether or not that embryo is a person and whether it should be counted as one. if it's a 7 month fetus..then aborting it would be morally wrong...but i think it should still be allowed. why would you bring a kid into the world if you didn't even want it? sure u could leave it at an orphanage but why would u go through all the trouble? ud have to go to work with this big buddha belly, have cravings, get fat, finally go to the hospital...then through labor..pop out a kid..go drop em off at an orphanage and never see em again. u've wasted how many months being pregnant? ..it's just way too much trouble to go through for a kid that isn't even yours and is NOT guaranteed to be loved.

id write more pointless stuff but i have to wake up at 9 damn.
damniddy damndamn.

i have a misquitoe bite on my big toe

SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: omg u know what
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I was in a disney feel yesterday
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: and so i was like yay
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: ill look up pictures of belle
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so i typed up "belle disney"
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: AND THEY HAD NEKKI PICTURES OF HER
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: and i was like WTF
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I WAS HELLA IN THE MOOD TO SEE SOME G RATED SHIT
AtomicTea: LOLLLLLLLLLLL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: i was soooo mad

ugh so gross. i wonder if anybody actually likes disney porn.

but yeah. disney songs are amazing. i wonder if the movies have any symbolism in them. ..beside that sexual innuendo shit.

http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-2023320890224991194
interesting stuff.. did the govt plan 911? :o freaky. actually i only watched the first three minutes because i got too freaked out. i needa watch it with someone. ...im sucha scardyee cat.


AtomicTea:
AtomicTea: LOL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: it was so bad
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: OMG
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I HATE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: YOU
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I ALMOST SCREAMED
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: ON
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: THE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: INSIDE
AtomicTea: AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: BUT MY MASK IS SO TIGHT ON MY FACE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I CANT MOVE
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: AND NOW
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: I HAVE TO WASH IT OFF
AtomicTea: AAHAAHHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHHAAHAHAA
AtomicTea: ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh oh man
AtomicTea: LOLOOLLLLLLLLLLL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: you know
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: being scared reminded me of the exorcism
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so when i was washing my face
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: i kept opening my eyes
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: to makesure nothign was there
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: but it burned my eyes
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so i was like ow
AtomicTea: AHAHAHA
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: but the pt is that im safe.
AtomicTea: ooh man
AtomicTea: LOL
SUGAPLUMFAIREE12: so thats good.

break my heart and ill break your fucking leg

friends are good. they take a lotta stuff off your mind. :)

finals suck.

my ears are really happy when a girl or guy sings pretty. like davey. he sings really pretty and my ears get really happy. gah.

it's weird how time passes by so fast.. it doesn't seem THAT long ago that i still sleeped with my mommy at night..and played with her hair.. or when i still thought "all that" was funny. ..actually..it hasn't been for a long while. gah. everything's going by so fast and i just wanna hold on to somethings...... the love i DID feel when i was little..the funnies i had with my brother...playing "flood" with my cousins..i used to be their favorite cousin and they'd all loooove to play with me. but now ive just stopped caring and so have they. i gotta admit it was pretty fun being a kid. minus some negatives..but mostly fun stuff.

i loved playing barbie with my brother. i was always the barbie that got the guy and joshua was the barbie that was the bitchy one that didnt get em. hahah. oo i remember we used to play doggies. and i used to bite him. like actually bite him. and make barking noises. i dont think it hurt. oo and we used to play this head butting game too. ...but i always won. i always won at a lot of things against him..and he'd just be okay with it. like when we played pokemon i always made up stupid shit..so that somehow id win. "oh _____ can make u fall in love with her and then kill you...and that's why i win." and he'd still be okay with that and still wanna play with me. awww. joshua used to be sucha cute kid. and now he cooks me stuff and gets me water when i ask. i have a pretty cool brother.

you know what pisses me off? 6th graders/little girls with coach bags n slutty brand name shit. it makes me wanna just jump them and take their purses.

Kryptonite- 3 Doors Down

:) I still like that song.

i wish super heroes were real..kinda like how i used to wish pokemon were real. oooooooo. but yeah. if i could have anyyyy um..super power itd be to fly. cause then i wouldnt be a peasant no more and i wouldnt have to take that stupid peasant bus that never comes on time even though i pay 50 cents now. >:O. orrrr id want to be invisible.. thats kinda freaky but i would be able to get away with so many thingssssssssssss. D; the possibilities. gah.

infomercials......wow...they're really convincing.....that egg bullet thing..the wok...that really skinny blender stick thing..and that ladder thing...i know i dont need them ..but i REALLY want them. over the summer i used to watch them til like 3 am...haha that stuff made life seem a lot easier...like id be happier if i got it or something. which of course isnt true.

man i should study for that chinese test.

okay now im going to post something positive.
the wonderful thing about life is that people is that they can change.

which is why we should give second chances right?
right. so then why would u still execute a man even though he changed.
so random.

mm i wonder where peta gets its animal abuse photos...do they google animal abuse orrr do they take pictures of it...? hmmmm we may never knowwwww. yeah im against torturing animals but i think eating them is fine. survival of the fittest, we wouldnt have been here w/out it..mm i think im just mad at myself for being a vegetarian because i woulda probably been a full C. hahah. i have no idea what im writing anymore. goodnight.

sorry im whining

i promised myself i wouldnt whine here..but. promises are meant to be broken.
..they really are.


work makes me happy. it takes my mind off a lot of things.

i think im addicted to food. that makes me happy too.


some days..i just never want to get out of bed..sometimes i feel like..i could just lay in bed for a really long time and be totally fine...i could day dream how much easier life would be if i were korean...about how pretty my room could be if i actually cleaned it.....eh. i really just dont care to do much. i feel very sluggish. the weekdays are getting longer and the weekends are too short.

i want summer. beach. sun. warmmmth. fun. laughter. ......ahhh. i feel useless right now. and only godiva chocolate can save me.

the world is cruel

but actually. i really like work. the little kids i have are so darn cute!. ugh. too cute. i really like it when my favorite ones are at my desk :) "dance with me!" ahh they bright up my day. maybe that's why i love playing with little kids so much..cause they're so innocent. oh and i absolutely love kids who say thank you and you're welcome. . i lovoeeee it. o and i like gentlemen too. or really nice people. wow this stuff is totally random. but yeah. gah im just trying to procastinate. i dont want to study.

mm sometimes i wish id get hit by a car so id be out for a couple of months and then i wouldnt have to do anyyyyyyyyything.

oh and relationships ..ugh. sometimes they irk me. especially when one person gives more than the other. and the other person doesnt give crap in return. or doesn't even appreciate the things they do. but yeah. whatever. waheteverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Religion

Mm..when i was still living in san lorenzo, i had a nanny who was super duper religious...she told me a lotta stories and i believed her. "when you die, god lets you choose to be an angel or a baby".. i remember hating adam and eve because it was their fault that we couldn't live in the garden of eden. one time at my church school they lectured us on how ppl who didnt believe in god went to hell..and i burst out in tears because i REALLY thought my parents were going to hell. after that i asked my mom and dad if they would become religious..so they wouldnt have to go to hell um..i dont think they answered me.

i used to pray to god every night ..and give him an invisible hug. and sometimes i thought that god could read my mind so i thought up of cuss words and then suddenly took them back.

i dont believe in god anymore but id like to. i think that whole jesus/god thing was created so ppl would be good. like how your parents tell you about santa clause..and if you're a good girl, he'll give you presents? christianity is kinda like that. if you're good, god will put you into heaven.

even though i don't believe in god..i still pray every once in a while..(if i have a big meet the next day..if i didnt study for my chinese test..for my boobs to get bigger...) juuuust in case. :) it's nice to have something to believe in though. when i have children im gonna make them christianssss so they wont be as afraid to die.

if any of you reading this are religious..please dont take this offensively. im not trying to diss god or jesus or wahtever.

..so when's the apocalypse?

So I was lying in bed the other night..thinking about how I move my hands..wiggle my toes and breathe..(Yeah..I was super bored.) What keeps me alive? ...it's weird. I know that your head makes it move but ..a body is useless if nothing is controlling it right? I guess I'm talking about the soul. I think too much and no one understands.

for all you atheists..
sometimes i wonder what made the universe..and what made the "thing" that made the universe and what made the "thing" that made the "thing" that made the universe. pause and digest. mm i think the explanation is waaay beyond human comprehension.

a slut, nerd, fake, and retard all in one person...i didn't know it was possible, but meet _______ _____. [:

farewell my african princesses
im off to triangle land.

oh. it's that time of the month again so i basically have the right to be a bitch. hahahah. just kidding. kinda sorta not really.

Curiousity killed the cat

I wonder if anyone that hates me reads this..and checks on it every.single.day.. to see what I have to say. I know I used to do that. . . .or still do. :)

You know what I noticed? For some people, music has become a FAD...not just something you listen to because you like it..but something that you hope will label you as a gangster..fob..punk..or whatever. not true for everybody..
and whatsup with all the sex in music videos..gahh..and little mini paris hiltons...they scare the crap outta me. little slut 11 year old girls in mini skirts..yuck. they need to get raped or something.

9:11! I swear I always see that time...funky.

ugly guys need to stop being horny because it's hurting the environment by causing global warming.

i dont know what i just wrote. i just want to procrastinate.

foggiegee: i couldnt believe it.. but when i was driving, i saw 9:11
foggiegee: and thought of you
foggiegee: brb

im not the only one!! randall sees 12:34

Oh me, oh my.

I think it's about that time of the month again.

I got bored and was looking through some xangas..myspaces..and stuff..and at every other page there'd be someone with the screen name.."mZ_oRIGiNAL". It kinda ticked me off..for some reason. hahah. You know what?
No one is original, so stfu and stop pretending like you were the first to start a rock band, to come up with catch phrases, and to wear converses at a formal. It gets on my nerrrves.

I feel bitter today.

and you know what.?
there probably is no meaning to life.

Happy New Years.

Forget the past, live in the present.


Soo...2006 eh?
___________
Resolutions|
-----------
-TEAM KENNETH! (i dont know if that's a resolution but hahah)

actually i dont have any.

Aww. Now I have to write 06 on my work and stuff. I hate it..I was just getting used to writing 05 instead of 04 ..and now this? Tartarsauce.

1/1/06

ew.