family

my brother used to be my best friend.
we used to sleep in the same bed as each other.
me my mommy and my brother til like ...8th grade
my mom would be in the middle of course.
i dont think anythings wrong with that so go hump a tree anyways.
my daddy would sleep in another room though; he had snow white blankets. heehhehHAHAHAh. but yeah. one night i remember asking joshua "who's your best friend?" and he said say "you!" that made me really happy.
we used to slide down the front window of the car i drive now, the camry...and one time we broke the glass. kekeke.
we used to brush our teeth together and put our arms over our shoulders and sing "father and son lalalallalaa"
we built huts out of our sofa
we played barbie together
played pokemon together

and one day i was watching lizzie mc guire and saw how mch she hated her little brother, and i swore to myself that id never be like that with my brother.

i guess we're OKAY now..sometimes. but we're definitely not best friends.


yeah
i just wanted to procrastinate. okay
goodnight.

procrastinating is my ai hao

soooooooo i was sitting staring at my computeeerr not reading dracula..and then i started thinking. =O YES i do think, occasionally. anyways. i was wondering about how the fuck people made this computer...and realized how smart some people are...like franklin and how he discovered electricity...if i got flew a kite and got shocked by lightning id just come to the conclusion that i should never fly a kite during a thunder storm..i wouldnt actually be like "aha! Electricity! the electrons in the.....and the blah blah blaaaah" but wooow. and i wonder how our tv is made..who the hell came up with the tv? how do you make a tv? if u gave me all the materials in teh world, i still wouldnt be able to make one..

thank god people arent the same. if everyone was like me, we'd still be living in caves and wiping our butts with leaves.. oh wait, luisa still does that! kakakaka.
jkaaaay. kinda sorta not really.






PROJECT E!

note to self

this is just the beginning...it's never perfect in the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginningthis is just the beginning

ok. i feel a lot better now.

suicidal ppl

hey. you know it must really hurt to die...
i mean i was cooking chicken broth and rice the other day and my hand was over the stove and my hand started to get uncomfortably warm..but i continued cooking anyways..until i kinda burned my hand.and WOW it hurt like a mofo. i wonder what it feels like to ACTUALLY burn your hand like..have it catch on fire. if it already hurt that mch and my hand wasnt even tOUCHING teh fire, the pain must be like unbearable or something.

and i wonder if ppl actually feel the pain when they get shot in the heart..im sure they do..but do they feel it for THAt long? maaaybe it hurts so much, that it feels like an eternity to them. hmmmm!

o and u know what i really admire?
how some ppl's lives are so fucked up, and yet they manage to keep it all in at school. cause when you pass ppl in the halls, you don't realize that one kid's dad is in the hospital or another kid's family is fcuked up..they just pass you like nothing has happened.

unlike some kids
who cry because
they got their first
B or C.. some kids
who just can't hold
it in because their
college will probably
never accept them
just because they got
a unweighted 3.83- one A
short of a 4.0.

i guess i'd sympathize for the kids who are near failing and are trying their hardest..but fail anyways. ..mm actually i think thats impossible. you can't fail if you put ur mind to it and try.

stupid people can be normal if they just apply themselves.


but anywaaaaaaays. im blabbering. lalalalala.

gotta decide by may 1st.

hmm. this isn't mch of a blog anymore. okay so..many of u probably think its stupid to stress over this but wahtever. maybe this will help me decide.

[ucd]
+food is hekka good\i could eat salad everyday and make chicken broth+rice
+i can imagine myself running/working out there
+close enough to home to visit a.chan
+i like how u bike
-don't get me wrong, its still a good school just not AS renowned.
-from the small two ppl rooms, it looked cramped
[ucsd]
+from the res and apartments i saw, i think it looks really nice
+near beach, i can run with rowena..pick up shells :D
-too far from home..id come back to sf once a month? i prolly wouldnt even be able to go to his senior prom or boat.
-food not so good, but + cause i def wont gain weight

um ill add more later.